The Circumstances Surrounding Asphodel Evans
by 0anon
Summary: Hello.  My name is Asphodel Evans.  Would you like to see my skulls?   -DH compliant, strange, incomplete, unlikely to be finished-
1. Chapter 1

"It's confirmed, sir. Twelve skulls, we were able to identify seven as wanted Death Eaters: Pettigrew, Avery, Fangwood, Yaxley, Nezinsky, Jugson, Selwyn."

"And Thomas?"

"One among them, sir."

"Then the other four skulls?"

"One of them seems to be the child's mother, the other three were probably muggles, sir."

"His mother? How—?"

"As far as we can figure, sir, Nezinsky managed to kill the woman before she died. We have her wand, and it seems she got out an entrail-expelling curse before snuffing it."

"Did the child see anything?"

"Therese has been trying to talk to the boy, but he's said nothing useful. He won't stop asking after the skulls."

"Have you found any bodies? Any indication of their remains? It can't have been that long since the boy's mother died—bodies do not simply disappear, Fendrick."

"Yes, sir, but no bodies, sir. We haven't recovered even a finger from the grounds. McCarthy unearthed a coffin, but it had no body, sir. In fact, it was full of dead insects and a few children's toys. He said that he also found a rotted core of an apple."

Bifflingsblock looked around as though the situation in which he found himself gave him great displeasure.

"Right. Tell them to keep looking and report back as soon as they've found something. I'm going to inform Kerbungle that we've got the Death Eaters."

"Isn't it a bit misleading to tell him that, sir?"

"Well, we found them dead, haven't we?"

"Yes, sir. But the circumstances of their demise—"

"Details. Potter can take care of the paperwork. Tell him I'm assigning the rest of this case to him, and that I want a thorough job. No stone unturned until he gets to the bottom of this business. That ought to teach him not to disobey my direct orders."

"Sir."

"I fancy an Order of Merlin will be in order for the team that brought to justice the last of the Death Eaters."

"What about the child, sir?"

"What about the child?"

"Shouldn't we take him to St. Mungo's –it's possible that he was injured. He certainly isn't _normal_, sir."

"I should think not. Painting skulls, speaking to them like living companions. I've seen a lot of things, Fendrick, but I will say that in all my years as an auror, I've never seen any child as strange as the boy. I'd bet he'd give You-Know-Who a run for his money."

"He is a wizard, sir."

"Of course I knew that! That house has pockets of magic lingering, especially in the boy's room."

"But if the mother was a muggle and by all accounts a widower—"

"Makes you wonder who the father is. Was. Although, it could be a muggleborn. The father couldn't stand the witchcraft and left them, or they left him."

"Yet the skulls of the Death Eaters—"

"Yes, it makes you wonder. But, leave it to Potter. He'll figure this all out, or I'll eat my commission. We've other things to do, Fendrick. Busy day tomorrow. Take the boy to St. Mungo's and tell Potter it's on his shoulders now."

"Yes, sir."

"He ought to be happy to get this assignment, to put an end to last of You-Know-Who's legacy. It'll be a closed case for all of us."

"I certainly hope so, sir."


	2. Chapter 2

Hello.

My name is Asphodel Evans. Would you like to see my skulls?

I painted them.

This one's Harry. Harry, say 'how do you do?'

"How do you do?"

He's very friendly. It's why I painted him green and yellow. He wears glasses, even though he's got no eyes. Mum thought I should paint round glasses because his name is Harry. She laughed when I told her I named him Harry.

He looks like a Harry to me. So I named him Harry. Mum likes to call him Bob. Or Robert, when she's cross.

"Go play with Robert," she says.

This one's Tom. Tom and Harry. They're best friends, you know. I painted Tom red, with black diamonds like a cobra. Tom doesn't have glasses, because he's got snake eyes. When I told Mum that Tom and Harry were best friends, she began laughing. Mum laughs a lot.

Tom, say 'how do you do?'

"How'd'you do? Would you like some tea?"

We can't have tea right now, Tom. Mum's working.

"But can we show them the beetle box?"

Mum puts all our enemies in the beetle box. She says it gets rid of the evidence.

This skull, painted silver, is named Mildred. Tom likes to tease her and say Mildred of Mordred. Mildred has a hole in her forehead because Mum used a gun. It was loud. There was a lot of blood, which is why I painted her silver. I like to put red flowers in Mildred's eyes and nose and teeth and the hole in her forehead. It keeps bad dreams away. Mildred doesn't speak very much because of the flowers.

Here's a good one—Avery. Mum doesn't like it when I keep the skull's life names, but I liked this name because it starts with an 'a,' like my name, Asphodel. Avery is orange and brown. Mum says he looks like a rotted pumpkin, but I like him. Avery doesn't have a jawbone. Mum pulverized it. She broke it off and crushed it to pieces while he was watching.

I get lots of presents from the beetle box. It's my favorite box. I want to name all the beetles, but Mum says there's too many and it would take me eternity to name all the beetles. But I want to name all the beetles . Mum says I take after my father. My father is a traitor. I want to name the beetles after famous traitors.

This one's Odette. She's missing all her teeth because Mum pulled them out and made a necklace and sent them to our enemies. We have a lot of enemies. I find bits of glass and pebbles to make new teeth for Odette. I painted her yellow and black and blue until Mum said she was hideous. I wish Mum would play with my skulls. I don't think any of them are hideous.

I asked Mum why she won't play with me and Odette and Avery and Mildred and Tom and Harry. She said it's because she likes watching me play with the skulls of my father's enemies. I've never seen my father. I asked her if she had his skull, and she became very still and shook her head.

We're playing buried alive right now.

I feel better when I'm buried alive if I have my skulls with me. Sometimes Mum has to leave me in the coffin for a very long time before it's safe for me to come alive again. I have to be very quiet or my father's enemies will find me and take my skulls away. I don't want them to take my skulls away. I'm very good at being very quiet. Once, I was so quiet that Mum almost couldn't wake me up again. I was very small and hungry. She cried and cried. I got to eat ice cream for a whole week.

I like to play magic with my skulls. Sometimes I can make them wink. Harry likes to talk to me. He talks a lot about worms and rats. Mum doesn't like it when Harry talks, so he only talks to me. But I make sure Harry only whispers when we're buried alive. Harry's scared of a lot of things, like dogs and snakes. He told me so. I told him that I like snakes, so he mustn't be rude if I get one from the beetle box.

Mum likes to watch me play magic. She says it reminds her of my father. She says my father was a great wizard. My father was a traitor. I asked Mum why she can't do magic, and she said she'd tell me when I'm older. I asked Mum when I would see my father and she told me to go to bed.

Buried alive isn't my favorite game. I like to play spy the most. Mum doesn't let me go into the Ready Room, but once I hid inside the cabinet and pretended I was a spy on a secret mission. The skulls were in danger and I had to save them by going to the Ready Room. The Ready Room is cold. It's full of metal tables and the smell hurts my nose.

Mum like to play spy. She tells me to pretend everyone's an enemy who wants to take my skulls, but I have to pretend that I don't know they want to take my skulls so that they don't know I know they're our enemies. It's great fun. I pretended that the old lady who works at the grocers was an enemy who can turn into a blackbird. She eats kidneys with kippers for supper. Mum laughed when I told her that. She frowned when I told her I saw the lady turn into a blackbird.

That's why I'm buried alive now. Mum's gone hunting for blackbirds.

"Asphodel?"

That's Mum. It must be safe to come alive again.

"What was my father's secret name?"

This is another game. I like it. Before I come alive, Mum has to answer four questions that only we know the answer to. If she doesn't get them right, I have to stay dead.

"Your father's secret name was no secret."

"Who is your least favorite flower?"

"My least favorite flowers are lilies."

I asked Mum why she hated lilies. Mum said she hated lilies because my father loved them.

"What are we having for dinner tonight?"

"We'll sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye, eat four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. Doesn't that sound lovely?"

I always ask Mum before I go in the coffin what we'll have for dinner when she comes back. She always tells me a different answer. This one's from a rhyme. Mum always tells me rhymes because she says it's easier to remember.

The last question I have to ask is always the same.

"Who is my father?"

"Your father is a traitor."

Mum always says it very quietly.

"Asphodel?"

Mum opens the lid and helps me out of the box. I collect Harry and Tom and Mildred and Avery and Odette and a few other things I brought with me to my grave. Mum gives me a quick peck on my cheek and tells me to go to the house. I'm careful not to walk too fast. Sometimes I try to do things too fast after being buried alive and I hurt myself.

"Are we really having blackbird pie for dinner?"

Mum smiles. I like it when she smiles. Sometimes she doesn't smile for days because she has to work.

"I've a present for you in the beetle box."

"Another skull! I'll name it Albert. I'll paint him purple with silver teeth and eyes."

Mum's looking away at the sky. I tug her hand.

"That sounds lovely, dear. Now let's go inside and have dinner."

We have kippers with eggs and sauerkraut. No kidneys, and no blackbird pie.

Mum makes me take a bath. She scrubs behind my ears until they're bright red. She tucks me in with all my skulls and kisses me goodnight. Mum works in the Ready Room when I'm asleep. I'm too tired from being buried alive to go play spy tonight, even though I want to visit Albert in the beetle box.

Tom, Harry, say 'goodnight.'

"Goodnight, Asphodel."

"Goodnight, Tom."

"Goodnight, Asphodel."

"Goodnight, Harry."

"Don't let the rats sneak into the room."

"I won't, Harry. We're going to have a new friend. His name is Albert. Mum's going to give him to me from the beetle box tomorrow."

"I don't like his name."

"Well that's too bad, Harry. Now be quiet and go to sleep. Mildred, be sure to keep the bad dreams away."

She shudders and some petals fall out of the hole in her forehead. I wonder if Albert will have a hole in his forehead. It would be nice if he could keep Mildred company, especially since Tom picks on her.

"Goodnight, everyone."

Mildred keeps the bad dreams away.


	3. Chapter 3

The house unnerved him. Harry wasn't used to the feeling. He'd always jumped into situations without much forethought or paying attention to the creeping fear that felt like rotting hands raking down his stomach. Stuff like that led to paralysis. It was part of the reason why he was good at what he did. But this investigation, with so much still unknown, they had to tread cautiously. Which meant not flash apparating into the house and cursing the first thing that moved. No matter how much he was itching to do just that.

So the feeling of uneasiness grew. This house—nothing about it screamed Dark. It was as bland and muggle as they came. He shook his head, trying to stay focused. But the years of frantic investigation, hunting down Death Eaters, following false leads, obsessing over meaningless bits and bobs to get the ones that got away, the ones he couldn't let go, and it came to this. When they learned that the house was also the place that Killian Thomas disappeared, it was as though everything came together.

But something was off. Something was really off. It was too muggle for the likes of Avery or Yaxley. These were the same maniacs that followed Voldemort's blood purity tripe and Harry could not, for the life of him, imagine them settled in place that looked almost exactly like Little Whinging. All the sweeps they conducted indicated that there was no magical hidey-hole for some recluse. The muggles they interviewed and obliviated didn't seem to notice anything unusual about the house, only that its residents were a bit odd. A woman and her son, they said. That was all. The son liked to play with a girl two houses down. The woman was a widower, and unemployed, as far as they could tell. The boy must be seven or eight years old. So either the Death Eaters had some unheard-of magic up their sleeves, or something was wrong.

Harry was inclined to think that something was wrong.

He counted to three, ran over the procedure again in his mind, and waited for the signal to approach the house. The team leader, that prick Bifflingsblock, delivered the all-clear. They approached like they had a thousand times during drills, on the lookout for wards, trip-charms, alarm spells, traps and whatever else was to be expected in a Death Eater hideout.

There was nothing. Not even a whisper of magic, as though only muggles had lived there. But everything pointed to—the evidence was incontrovertible—they couldn't have made a mistake—maybe the Death Eaters had set some trap—maybe they were being led them all into a slaughterhouse—he inhaled and pushed those thoughts away wishing he could get it over with—the waiting was always the hardest he could deal with action—no anti-apparition wards—so tempting to—he cast a few scans at the house and came up with nothing, again—instinct roaring to _do_ something before they were ambushed—no occupants in the house no occupants in the house except one

He waited for Bifflingsblock's signal—they should be clear for the next stage to infiltrate—the man was caught up examining a bush with his foe-glass—he thought after Voldemort things would be in better condition but this—frustration mounting—the silence was eerie—they couldn't afford to just sit like this if there were Death Eaters—Bifflingsblock hadn't even been at the Battle of Hogwarts—textbook position for being ambushed—cleaning up the wizarding world was never going to be easy but there was no reason for unnecessary deaths—come _on_ Blockhead—signal signal signal

A flare of magic inside and—he waited hand twitching—another flare—and fuck the Blockhead he was never good at taking badly given orders—the third flare and

Gone.

Harry apparated into the house, wand drawn, second wand at the ready, blood pounding in his ears. Scan and move, scan and move, he conjured the most comprehensive detection spells he could remember and found nothing, nothing, nothing, and a pit was filling forming in his stomach as he walked through a house that was covered in dust and preternatural silence, all the signs pointing to abandoned abandoned abandoned they'd gotten away the bastards had slipped through their fingers and he could feel frustration anger headache mounting also considering the paperwork he'd get for disobeying the Blockhead moving without orders and being an auror wasn't supposed to mean he got assigned under idiots like Bifflingsblock this might earn him a three weeks behind the desk at least while Death Eaters were still on the loose and

"Hello."

Harry nearly jumped out of his skin. Moody would have hit him with his wooden leg for sure, yelling about constant vigilance.

It took him half a second to realize the voice came from down below. A child. A little boy, the one the neighbors must have been talking about. Dark hair and dark eyes—he looked familiar in a way that Harry couldn't quite place. Harry was about to bend down to the boy's level and ask his name when of course,

"Potter what in MERLIN'S NAME WERE YOU THINKING APPARATING INTO THIS HOUSE"

"Sir—"

"WHEN WE DRILLED FOR THREE DAYS DO YOU KNOW WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED"

"Sir, I thought it might be an ambush, I saw three flares of magic inside—it was too quiet—"

"DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU COULD'VE COMPLETELY COMPROMISED THIS MISSION AND ANY CHANCE WE HAD AT CATCHING THOSE BASTARDS"

"This house hasn't been occupied for a few days and if your team had done a thorough job with surveillance they would've known that—"

"DO YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND THAT YOU CAN JUST RIDE ON THE COATTAILS OF YOUR DEFEATING YOU-KNOW-WHO"

"But seeing as how you wasted our time running drills that every auror should already know the mission was compromised anyway—"

"OR THAT YOU'LL WORM YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE FOR BEING THE BOY-WHO-LIVED-TWICE YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING"

"And now we've still got Death Eaters running loose and months of investigation wasted a complete dead end right here in this house—"

"I'M THE TEAM LEADER HERE AND YOU'LL DO VERY WELL TO REMEMBER THAT THE NEXT TIME WE'RE ON A RAID—"

"Hello," the little boy tugged on the Blockhead's robes.

Harry snorted when Bifflingsblock nearly jumped out of his skin.

"What in Merlin's—?"

"My name is Asphodel Evans. Would you like to see my skulls?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Harry? How was work?"

"Fine."

Ginny came out of the kitchen, hands on her hips.

"Fine?"

"Yeah. It was fine."

"I read in the Prophet that you and the team finally rounded up the last of the Death Eaters—"

"No thanks to Bifflingsblock."

"But I found it odd that there weren't any pictures. You'd think Kerbungle would use this as a publicity op—"

"There weren't any photos _to_ take."

"What do you—"

"I need to take a shower."

Ginny watched, eyes narrowed, as Harry threw off his cloak, took the stairs two steps at a time, and slammed the bathroom door. The sound of water followed. She shrugged. Harry got into moods. She learned it was best to let the edge blunt a little, and then talk to him about it.

He stood under the water, anger rising and falling with the sound of the water. They needed to get the plumbing fixed but bloody wizards, of course they didn't know the first thing about how to fix something as simple as a blocked pipe without using magic. Living in Grimauld Place was out of the question. He and Ginny bought the house—they'd have to move elsewhere when they had children but it was fine for just the two of them—and the witch who'd sold it had sworn up and down that everything was in working order.

"All the modern conveniences, don't have to use a toilet bowl. I had those mugglish pipes installed just last winter," she'd cackled.

Toilet bowls? What the hell kind of houses did most wizards _live_ in? Harry tried to imagine Malfoy renovating the manor with "all the modern conveniences." For all he knew, they still used shit bowls and had the house elves—nope. Not going there.

He wanted to break something. The sod Bifflingsblock dumped the paperwork for the case on him, at once blaming Harry for "compromising" his precious mission and crediting himself for giving the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice (couldn't they come up with a better title?) the _honor_ of closing the file on Voldemort and his Death Eaters for good. It was an assignment he couldn't get out of. He had better things to be doing with his time instead of babysitting a—

The showerhead sputtered. Harry hit it. It didn't do anything.

Asphodel Evans.

He wasn't stupid.

Yes, there was a one-in-million chance that this Evans wasn't the Evans he knew. Harry had been too preoccupied with hunting Horcruxes and defeating Voldemort to take much notice of his aunt's disappearance. He hadn't even known she'd disappeared until the end of the war, for Merlin's sake. The Dursleys were supposed to be in hiding, away from the war and that kind of freakishness. Vernon all but strangled him when he saw Harry again, face purple and spitting that Harry had "done something" to Petunia. Dudley mostly looked like he would soil his trousers, since Harry was not in the mood to be fucked with and he did not die and come back to life just to get kicked around by Vernon shitwad Dursley. That was the last time he'd had anything to do with the Dursleys.

He had felt slightly guilty at the time about Petunia's disappearing, but had forgotten about it without a problem. It wasn't hard. There was his schooling to finish, dealing with the mess left behind in the war, testifying in court on behalf of or against convicted witches and wizards, auror training and battling the sheer incompetence that seemed to be associated with everything the Ministry _touched_, the whole business of rebuilding the wizarding world, hunting down the last of the Death Eaters, dealing with internal politics with idiots like the Blockhead… it was really easy to forget about Petunia Dursley. And now—

Harry turned the water off and got out of the shower. He rummaged around the drawers, found something to wear, and went downstairs.

"Owl just arrived from your office. I think they're case files," Ginny pointed to the pile of parchment on the table.

Harry kissed her absently, then went to examine the contents of the stack. There were the usual reports about the raid, profiles on the Death Eaters, investigation records, notes about various stints at Azkaban, interviews, etc etc seen it before and here was something new.

Copies of some new identification papers.

Asphodel Evans.

A wizard.

She'd had a son. Petunia Dursley had gone and had a bastard after she disappeared, and bastard wizard at that. A creepy, messed up kid who thought the skulls of Death Eaters were his best friends, and how the _hell_ had he gotten those skulls in the first place? Harry knew his aunt to be a lot of things—pinched-faced bitch came to mind—but _this_? This defied imagination. He could only imagine that she'd gone round the bend and cracked. There was no way that Asphodel—he cringed when he realized that they were cousins—was raised by the same woman who'd done a half-arsed job raising him.

Fendrick said he'd taken Asphodel to St. Mungo's. Fendrick was a prick. He'd given Harry his assignment and then added that he thought he'd "lend his assistance" and "took the unfortunate child to St. Mungo's to receive much needed medical care." Harry would have to stop by and take a look at him first thing tomorrow morning. He hoped Asphodel wouldn't be hard to deal with. He got the feeling that he wouldn't be that lucky. Asphodel was _not_ normal by any definition of the word, muggle or wizard.

"Harry, did you hear anything I said?"

"Ron and Hermione got into another fight, Carol needs to shape up if the Harpies want to have a chance at qualifying for the League Cup, Fleur's pregnant again and Molly invited us to dinner on Friday. Did I miss anything?"

"I hate it when you do that."

Harry looked up and grinned.

"Have to survive being married to you somehow."

Ginny cleared the table with her wand without so much as a warning, banishing Harry's papers to the sitting room table.

"No work during dinner. I'm going to have a proper conversation with you at least _once_ this week."

Harry rolled his eyes but smiled up at Ginny anyway. Plates and silverware clattered to the table, the pumpkin juice poured itself and they settled into their seats.

"So, tell me," Ginny said, giving Harry a pointed look. "How was your day?"

"Awful. You won't believe what Bifflingsblock wants me to do."


	5. Chapter 5

Mildred sometimes can't keep all the dreams away because the flowers bleed out of the hole in her head. I dreamed that wizards came to our house and took all my skulls and wouldn't give them back. I cried and cried until a giant clam rose from the ground and swallowed all the wizards and pulverized them to dust. Then the bones turned into swarms of ticks and an anteater came and slurped them up. Then the anteater's blood began to boil and all the skin and blood fell off until there were only bones left. I took the bones to the beetle box but there weren't any beetles inside, only bits of Mum's fingers that she had bitten off with Odette's teeth.

I don't mind strange dreams. I don't get any strange dreams when I'm buried alive. When I'm buried alive I can't hear anything and Mum taught me I mustn't breathe too much or I might run out of air and then I'd go to sleep forever and she wouldn't be able to answer our secret questions. It's all dark in the coffin except for a torch that Mum lets me have to play with the skulls. I lie very still and turn the light on and look at Harry and Tom and Mildred and Avery and Odette and tell them to be quiet or my father's enemies will find us.

Once my father's enemies did find us. I try not to remember it because after that Mum was so upset she didn't let go of me for a week. She made me stay in the house and she petted my hair and told me I would be safe. That was Avery. He found us and he opened the coffin and he laughed and made me hurt all over but Mum shot both his legs and arms. She sawed off his feet and hands and wrapped a wire around his neck that made him go red in the face. Avery screamed and screamed and made strange things happen around him. Mum took a great whirring blade and sawed off his jaw and cut out his tongue. Then she told me to gather up the bits and pieces and I got to hold Avery's hand. It was wet and slippery. Mum's hands never shook until she spilled everything into the beetle box, and then her hands didn't stop shaking for two days.

She didn't like it when I decided to keep Avery's life-name, but I like it. His name starts with an 'a,' like Asphodel. I know how to spell my name. Mum showed me how. It's 'a' like aspen, 's' like serpent, 'p' like petunia, 'h' like hogwarts, 'o' like obliviate, 'd' like dementor, 'e' like exile, 'l' like lily. Mum says that she and my father chose the name together. Mum says that my father didn't love her like he loved lilies and she says that she didn't love my father like she loves me. Sometimes when she's unhappy Mum says she's glad my father will never know about our secret. I ask her what the secret is because I didn't know we had a secret but she never tells me. It must be her secret that she can't tell anyone.

"When you're older" she says.

We have an old telly set that Mum retrieved from a rubbish bin that only plays a few shows over and over. Mum thinks the telly's haunted. She laughs when she says that. Her favorite program is the one where a woman is taking a bath and the shower curtain opens and she screams. My favorite is the one with all the skulls rising from the town up to the great black mountain that turns into a demon. I wish we lived near a mountain that turned into a demon. I would show him my skulls and we would hunt the ghosts of angels. I especially like the colors of the fire. I want to paint a skull those colors someday. There's also a program that makes me laugh, the one with pink balloon elephants. They look like they're made of bubblegum. I wish I could make pink elephants explode.

Mum likes it when I make magic. She thinks I'll grow up to be a fine magician someday. I can already make my food turn into locusts and make the locusts turn into amber. Mum likes to collect the pieces of amber and put them in crystal glasses. But sometimes the amber turns back into locusts and the locusts turn back into bits of bacon and then Mum has crystals full of molded food. The mold is fuzzy and grey, or green with red spots, or slimy black. When that happens, Mum says I ought to invent a potion or a poison. Mum says my father was a brilliant potions maker. I don't like potions as much as I like making bugs and lizards.

I tried to make teeth for Odette once to fill all the holes in her mouth but they've never stayed very long. Once I took five plastic forks and broke of the prongs and glued them into her mouth. She didn't like them very much because after two days fungus ate away the glue and the plastic turned into toothpicks. Mum complains that with all the bugs I bring into the house that it's a miracle any of the walls are still standing. She keeps the house extra tidy by mopping every weekend and cleaning the bathroom, but she never washes the windows. Mum likes to keep my coffin tidy too. She washes the pillows each time after she buries me alive. Sometimes I have to go to the bathroom but there's no toilet so I have to use a corner. Mum makes the smell go away when she cleans my coffin.

This is the fourth house I've lived in. When I was a baby Mum says we didn't live in any houses but rented a small room in a run-down hotel. Every time we've moved Mum makes sure to take four things: the beetle box, a large black case of tools she needs for the Ready Room, her crystals, and my coffin. I always take my skulls and my father's coat. Mum says to leave behind everything I absolutely don't need. The only thing I absolutely need are my skulls. Mum always says that this will be the last house and we'll stay for good. The neighbors ask sometimes why I don't go to school but Mum tells them that the doctor said I'm to remain home because of my condition.

Mum buried me alive four days ago. She went blackbird hunting. I'll have to wake up soon. Sometimes I don't know if I'm dead or alive. Ever since Mum started putting me in the coffin to keep me safe from my father's enemies, I imagine more things and Mildred has trouble keeping track of my dreams. But this can't be a dream because if it were a dream, then I wouldn't know about Albert and I'm going to paint him purple and silver. I have sore ears from Mum scrubbing me. So I'm alive and sleeping in my bed. I don't like sleeping in my bed. It's not as comfortable as the coffin and there aren't as many bugs.

Someday I'll find a black unicorn to hunt the ghosts of angels and perhaps then I'll meet my father. He'll ask me four questions. He'll ask me to spell my name, he'll ask me what I get from the beetle box, he'll ask me what Mum's making for dinner, and he'll ask me who he is. I'll tell him that I'm Asphodel Evans, Mum gives me skulls from the beetle box, we've having blackbirds and kidneys for dinner, and he's my father.

Mum says I'll understand everything when I'm older.

Sometimes I dream that wizards come to our house and take away my skulls and I never become older.


	6. Chapter 6

Mum always feels bad after she buries me alive, so I have watermelon for breakfast. The seeds turn into termites.

"Asphodel, don't play with your food."

The rinds turn into gooey green caterpillars.

"Asphodel."

I squish them all with my spoon. The caterpillars have orange insides. Some termites fall on the table. I squish those with my fingers.

Mum hates it when I make a mess. My plate's pink and orange and green and black. I like having watermelon for breakfast.

"Asphodel, go outside and play with Kat. Take Robert with you."

I jump down from my chair and go upstairs to get Harry. He likes talking to Kat. Kat lives two houses down. Kat's father helps Mum in the Ready Room. He's not a wizard and Mum says he doesn't know about magic. Kat knows about magic. She can't make magic, but she likes talking to Harry. I wonder when I'll get to meet Albert.

Mum helps me into my coat and ties my shoes. I can tie my shoes, but Mum likes tying my shoes and combing my hair after she buries me alive. I don't mind.

"Mum, can I take Albert?"

"Albert's not ready, dear. The beetles haven't finished cleaning him."

"Can I see him in the beetle box?"

"Asphodel."

"Please?"

Mum doesn't like showing me the beetle box. But Mum always feels bad after we play buried alive, so I know she'll show me the beetle box. I like the beetles. I want to name some of them after my father.

"Very well."

The beetle box is near the Ready Room. I can't see inside the beetle box. Mum picks me up and holds me tightly. Her bony hands hurt and make me squirm. She never loosens, only tells me to look at the beetle box. It's full of beetles and a half-eaten flesh-thing. Once, I saw a dog run over by a car. It looked like the half-eaten flesh-thing, but it had more hair. I don't like the smell of the beetle box, but it doesn't hurt my nose like it does in the Ready Room.

I wave. Mum flinches.

"Hello, Albert. My name's Asphodel."

I can almost see the skull inside the flesh-thing. It's hard to see with the shiny black beetles crawling over it.

"We're going to be great friends. I'm a very good spy, and my father was a traitor. I'll never let the enemies take you away."

Mum shudders. She always shudders when I talk to the skulls in the beetle box.

"Mum, can I show Kat a beetle?"

"No. I think that's quite enough."

She puts me down.

"But I didn't get to say goodbye to Albert."

"You'll get to see him again later. It's not a goodbye."

"But I wanted to tell him that I was going to paint him purple and silver."

"I'm sure Albert will be your friend no matter what colors you paint him, dear."

"But I wanted to see if he had a hole in his forehead, like Mildred."

Mum looks sharply at me.

"Asphodel, go outside and play with Kat. Now."

"But I wanted Mildred to have a friend. She gets lonely guarding against all the bad dreams at night."

"Then I'm sure Avery can keep her company."

"But I wanted—"

"Not another word, Asphodel. Go outside, or I won't give you Albert today at all."

I take Harry and go to Kat's house.

"Hello, Kat."

"Hello, Asphodel. Hello, Harry."

Harry nods.

"Something wrong?" Kat asks.

"He's a little out of sorts today. Odette tried to steal his teeth again."

"Why didn't you bring them all along?"

"They're too excited. I'm getting a new skull today. His name's Albert."

"That's a funny name. You're sure his name's Albert? Not a Gwyneth or a Bedevere? "

"I'm sure. He's going to be silver and purple. He can't be anything other than an Albert if he's going to be silver and purple."

"True," she nods, frowning. "Will you introduce him to me?"

"Of course. I don't expect he'll be ready to speak to strangers for a few days—"

"But I'm not a stranger!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not. I know Harry and Tom and all your other skulls—"

"Did you say 'hello' to him this morning in the beetle box?"

"No, but—"

"Then you're a stranger."

Kat crosses her arms in the best imitation of her mother.

"Don't be angry, Kat. I promise I'll introduce you as soon as he's ready."

"Promise you won't introduce him to anyone else before me?"

"I promise."

"Fine. Let's play magic. Harry always cheers up when we play magic."

We go back to where the Secret Shade grows in the garden. Harry likes sitting in the Secret Shade. It tickles his nose.

The leaves turn into great black tents and we crawl through the dirt to the Collapsing Tunnel. It's called the Collapsing Tunnel because it collapses to warn us when Kat's Mum or Dad walks into the garden. The first time the dirt fell on top of us, Kat started crying. I've played buried alive so many times that it didn't scare me.

"Do you think I'll ever be able to make magic, Asphodel? Dad says there's no such thing."

"I don't know. My watermelons turned into termites and caterpillars this morning. It was great fun."

"That's not fair. You had watermelon for breakfast. I only got some toast."

"I like toast. Sometimes it turns into a box and I can sneak some extra jam inside to eat later."

Mum doesn't like it when I eat between meals and spoil my appetite. Sometimes she asks me if I want to become as fat as a dudley. I don't know what a dudley is, and Mum doesn't like it when I ask. I imagine a dudley is a shaggy grey walrus with a pig snout and chicken legs. Mum says a dudley isn't an animal, but she told me that dragons are animals, and I've never seen a dragon.

"You're odd, Aspodel. I wouldn't turn my toast into a box. What do you want to play?"

"Let's play traitor. I want to play traitor."

"Okay. Who tells a secret first?"

"You. Tell it to Harry, and then he'll betray you, and then you'll kill him, and then I'll kill you."

"How should I kill him?"

"With magic."

"But I can't make magic."

"Then I'll kill Harry but you can pretend that you're killing him. And then I'll kill you."

"Don't hurt me. That hurt the last time."

"You've never had spiders come out of your ears?"

"No. It hurt, Asphodel. Mum says I shouldn't play with you."

"Then who'll play traitor with me?"

"I don't know, but Mum says I shouldn't play with you. She says you're dangerous."

"I'm not dangerous."

"Mum says you are."

"I'm not dangerous! I promise I won't make spiders come out of your ears."

"Good."

"Where's Jenna?"

"She's inside. Why?"

"I thought perhaps she should play with us, if you don't want to be killed. You tell Harry the secret, and he'll tell Jenna, and Jenna will tell me, and then I'll kill Jenna and you'll kill Harry."

"I don't want you to kill Jenna."

"Why not?"

"She's my doll. It's not nice."

"I'm letting you kill Harry and he's my skull."

"But you can make magic."

"It's only a doll. My mum says it's rude not to share."

"My mum says it's rude to kill people without asking them."

"But I have asked you."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't.

"Yes I did. I said 'let's play traitor' and you agreed. You know that we kill people when we play traitor, so if you didn't want to get killed you should have said that you didn't want to play traitor."

"Let's ask Harry what he thinks is fair."

"No, you can't ask the traitor what he thinks is fair. Traitors aren't allowed to have opinions about the rules. That's why they betray them."

"What? Why not?"

"My mum says that people call other people traitors because traitors don't honor promises and can't keep confidences. They don't play by the rules, which is why they're traitors."

"My mum says that traitors are nasty people who only think of themselves and don't consider others and that's why people hate them."

"That's not true! You take that back!"

"It is too! I won't take it back!"

"My mum says my father is a traitor and he's not a nasty person! He was a great wizard and no one hates him!"

"My mum says that Judas was a traitor and he betrayed Jesus so he had to die on a crucifix!"

"My father didn't die on a crucifix! You take that back! My father was a great wizard and he didn't die on a crucifix!"

"All traitors die on crucifixes! My mum said so. You're nasty and mean and I don't want to play traitor anymore!"

"You take that back! I'll kill you with a crucifix! I'll kill you with a crucifix!"

Kat screams.

Harry's teeth chatter and the Collapsing Tunnel fills with the ghosts of half-eaten flesh things. Twelve-legged spiders and million-eyed centipedes and flesh-eating worms burst out of the ground. Wasps with glinting needle-stingers and giant mosquitoes full of rat poison fly around our heads.

Kat is screaming to make them go away. I don't know how to make them go away and I don't know why she's so upset. I like bugs.

"If I make them go away, will you let me kill you with a crucifix?"

"Yes! Just make them go away!"

"Okay. You promise to let me kill you with a crucifix?"

"I promise!"

She screams some more. A needle-stinger is sticking out of Kat's arm.

"You promise?"

"I promise I promise!"

She's crying.

I don't know why she's crying. If she didn't cry so much the bugs wouldn't bother her.

"And you won't say that my father's nasty."

"I won't I won't!"

The wasps and mosquitoes transform into moths and the spiders and centipedes and worms transform into cockroaches and snakes. They climb into Harry through his open mouth and disappear. I catch the moths and put them into Harry's eyes and they disappear.

Kat's arms are covered in red spots that spread and swell into great bumps. She's sniffling and hugging herself in the corner. It doesn't matter because she'll be dead soon. I get to kill her with a crucifix.

"Are you ready?"

"It wasn't nice to do that, Asphodel."

"It wasn't nice to call my father nasty."

"But you said yourself that he's a traitor."

"You don't know what a traitor is. Traitors aren't nasty."

"But Mum said—"

"No. You're a traitor and you can't talk about the rules anymore. I won, so now I get to kill you."

"But we didn't even get to play the game! That's not fair!"

"We did too. You said I had to ask you if I could kill you and I did, and you said yes."

"I thought we were playing traitor! That's not the rules of traitor!"

"You said you didn't want to play traitor."

"I did not!"

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Did too. I won and you're the nasty Judas and I get to kill you."

"I'm not I'm not I'm not! I'm not nasty and I don't want to die."

"Lots of people don't want to die but they have to. Don't worry, Kat. I promise I'll keep your skull with me forever."

"I don't want to die."

"It'll only hurt a little. Mum says that death only hurts a little and then everything's fine."

"But I don't want to die."

"Well, if I kill you with a crucifix it'll only hurt for three seconds and then you won't feel anything."

"No, you're lying. The minister always says that being on the crucifix hurts a lot and it takes a long time to die and you have to stay dead for three days before you come back to life again."

"I've been dead three days."

"The minister says you have to make holes in my side with spears to make the blood come out faster and you have to nail my hands to the tree."

"The tree?"

"The tree!"

"I've never seen Mum kill anyone with a tree."

"Well that's what he said and he read it from The Book!"

A tree appears in the tunnel. I take Kat by the hand and lead her to it.

"What're you doing?"

"I'm going to nail your hands to the tree."

"But where's the crucifix?"

"What's a crucifix?"

"I don't know. I think it's shaped like a cross."

"Like this?"

A large metal cross appears next to the tree.

"No no, it has to be upright. Yes, that's right. And longer this way—up and down. No no, that's too long. I think that's right. And shorter side to side. I think that's a crucifix."

"All right. Now stand in front of the crucifix. Put your arms out."

"This way?"

"No, around the crucifix. I need to nail your hands to the tree."

"Is it going to hurt?"

"I don't know. I've never had my hands nailed to a tree before."

Large glowing nails appear and as soon as Kat puts her hands on the tree, they drive into the middle of her wrists.

She screams and screams and screams and tries to move her hands but the nails keep them down.

"I'm sorry, Kat, the nails went into your wrists. I didn't aim very well."

Two more nails appear and smash into her hands.

She screams some more, but it perhaps it got better because she stops screaming and is crying quietly.

"Is that better, Kat?"

"Y-y-y-yes."

"Now what?"

"You make me drink vinegar and then you poke holes into my sides to make me die faster."

"Mum never makes people drink vinegar when she kills people."

"Maybe your mum doesn't like killing with crucifixion. My mum likes killing everyone with crucifixion. She kills Christ and Jesus and the Savior and the Son of God and Peter and Mary and James and John and loads of other people with crucifixes."

"Strange. And they all die and come back to life for three days?"

"Only some of them. The others have to stay dead until there's a great trumpet from heaven."

"That sounds like a very long time to stay dead."

"I think some people stay buried alive for millions of years!"

"Well, I suppose it's good then that I'm only killing you for three days. I wouldn't like to stay in the coffin for millions of years. Now drink this."

"What is it?"

"It's vinegar. You said I had to make you drink vinegar. I added poison to it because you can't die only from your hands being nailed."

"They never talk about any poison in The Book."

"Then why would they give people vinegar?"

"I don't know. I always thought they died because their sides were poked."

"Mum never pokes their sides. Sometimes she drives a pencil through the side of their neck but she never drains the blood that way. The vinegar must be poison. Here, I'll help you drink it."

"It takes awful."

"You said they poison with vinegar."

"I don't like it."

"If you said they poisoned with wine, I would make it taste better. Some poisons taste sweet and others taste bitter. It depends on how you want the person to die."

"How do you know so much about poisons?"

"Mum says my father knew a lot about potions and poisons. Anyway, you should be dying soon."

"Don't forget the holes in my side."

"I won't forget. Are you dying yet?"

"I think so."

"All right."

A magic marker appears. I draw circles into Kat's sides and the markings sink in through her shirt to her skin. A hole burns into the cloth and starts burning into her, the skin slowly dissolving into oozing red. Kat starts crying again.

And just then, the tunnel collapses. Kat's mum is in the garden.

We quickly climb out of the tunnel into the Secret Shade.

"There you are! I've been searching all over for you! Come inside, Katherine, it's time for lunch. Asphodel, you can come back to play later."

"But Mum, we were just getting to the good part!"

"I know, darling, but you can play again after lunch."

"But I was just about to die and then come back to life!"

"Die? Kat, what on earth are you talking about?"

"We were playing traitor. Harry was the traitor and we were going to kill him with magic—"

"Katherine, Asphodel, it's not nice to play such nasty games—"

"But they aren't nasty games, Mum! They're lots of fun and Asphodel made a tree appear and we drank poison—"

"That's… very nice, dear."

Kat's mum looks like she doesn't know what to think.

"It was! But the poison wasn't very tasty and please can we play for a few minutes more, please please please?"

"I told you, after lunch you can play with Asphodel again. I really ought to speak to your father."

"Why?"

"Because, Katherine, Asphodel, these games really aren't very nice. Why don't you play something normal, like House or Space Aliens? Katherine likes to play with her dolls, Asphodel. I'm sure your mum could get you some action figures so that you don't have to carry those skulls around all the time."

"But I like my skulls, Mrs. Crojan."

"I like the skulls too, Mum! Can I get one, please? Please oh please oh please? You promised I could get a skull and I could paint it with glitter!"

"Katherine Coraline Crojan, I never said any such thing, and if your father promised you—I really have to speak with your father. Go home, Asphodel, run along. You may play with Katherine later. Katherine, it's time for lunch."

I go home. I can hear Mrs. Crojan asking Kat where she got all those red marks and why her shirt has holes in it. Kat is telling her that she was stung by needle-wasps. Mrs. Crojan says something about checking the garden for wasps' nests and speaking to Kat's father. I want a wasps' nest. If Mrs. Crojan finds a nest, I'll ask if I can have it. I want to fill it with fish eggs and leave it out for the cat to eat.

Mum is in the kitchen making sandwiches.

"Did you have fun at Kat's house, dear? Lunch is almost ready. Ham sandwiches."

"I crucified Kat today. It was fun. Kat says if you kill someone with a crucifix, they only stay dead for three days. But I don't think it's really the crucifix that kills the person, but the vinegar poison. You've never killed anyone by nailing their hands."

Mum's still working on the sandwiches.

"No, I haven't. Perhaps I should try one day. Asphodel, set the table."

I go to the drawer to retrieve the silverware.

"Is Albert ready yet?"

"Almost. The beetles should be done by the time we finish lunch. I think you should check on your skulls, dear. They've been nervous all day."

"Is it Odette? She tried to steal Harry's teeth. I think she wants to impress Albert."

"I don't know. Go check. And take Harry with you—I won't have him watching while we eat."

I go upstairs and put Harry back on the shelf. The skulls all look at me with questions in their eye sockets. I don't feel like talking to them because I want a wasps' nest. Skulls are boring. I look under my bed and retrieve a box full of marbles that tell me the future. They're all black as blackbird wings and black as fat beetles. I think Mum killed more than one blackbird, but she didn't bake them in pies. She sold the livers and kidneys and sliced the hearts for medicine. I pick up one marble and it turns green. Mum says that my father loved the colors black and green. If she killed more than one blackbird, then I should get two skulls, not one. There's a surprise in the beetle box!

I push the box back under my bed and go to the closet. I take out a ragged coat that Mum says belonged to my father. I think it smells like him. It smells like a traitor. Sometimes I like to wrap myself in his coat and sleep under the bed with the dead mice and crunchy crickets. When I do that I get scary dreams that make me think of Tom and Harry, only this Tom is different from my skull Tom and Harry isn't scared of snakes and rats and they're trying to kill each other. I like scary dreams. Because Mum tells me that they're dreams and not real and sometimes I dream scary things that were real because I saw them.

"Asphodel, lunch is ready. Come down, dear."

Ham sandwiches. I like ham sandwiches without the crusts.

"Mum, is there another skull in the beetle box?"

"Sit down, Asphodel, and eat your food."

"Did you kill someone else besides the blackbird lady?"

Mum looks annoyed.

"No, Asphodel, only Albert is in the box, no one else."

"But I looked at my marbles and they were all black and they said you killed more than one blackbird."

"Asphodel, your marbles do not mean anything. They change with the temperature."

"They tell me the future."

"If you say so, dear."

Mum eats, but she looks worried. She knows that the marbles aren't silly thermometers. If they were, I would swallow them all to see how hot the inside of my stomach really is.

"The pigs were very unhappy before they were killed for ham."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because my mustard's gone black."

I take the bread off to show her the pink ham covered in slimy black mustard.

"Asphodel, don't play with your food. If you can't keep yourself from changing your food, then you'll simply have to go without. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

I cover the ham with the bread and eat my sandwich. It tastes like ham slathered with oil. But I'm hungry and I don't want to go without.

"Were the blackbirds unhappy before they were baked into a pie?"

"I don't think the blackbirds knew they were going to be put in a pie, dear. Animals can hardly know such things."

I think they do because my ham tastes unhappy, but I don't tell Mum. She'll get cross. If she gets cross she won't give me Albert or a wasps' nest.

"Mum, can I have a wasps' nest?"

"Why would you want a wasps' nest, dear? You already have a jar of bat's wings, and another jar of head lice."

"I want a wasps' nest so I can fill it with fish eggs and leave it out for the cat to eat."

"Asphodel, I can hardly afford to buy you caviar for a cat."

"Caviar?"

"Fish eggs. People do eat them, you know."

"I ate a robin's egg once."

"Yes, dear, I know. You promised me never to do that again."

"They were so blue. I thought they would taste blue."

"Asphodel, sometimes I wonder where you get these ideas. Certainly not from me."

"Maybe from my father?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if your father at a robin's egg when he was a child. Probably did it out of spite. Are you finished with your sandwich?"

I nod.

Mum gathers our plates and looks out the window.

"Better not go to Kat's house, Asphodel. It looks like it's going to rain, and I don't want you catching a cold."

"Will you read a story to me?"

"Asphodel, I have work to do in the Ready Room—"

"May I come down to the Ready Room?"

"No."

Mum's voice is sharp.

"Please? I don't like rain. It makes the skulls cranky and they say mean things about father."

"What sorts of things?"

"They say he's the filthiest double-crosser that ever lived and they say he's dead."

"Asphodel, your father _is_ dead."

"He's not dead. If he were dead you would have his skull or we could go to his coffin and tell him it's fine to wake up now."

"Asphodel—"

"Please may I come to the Ready Room? I promise to be good. I won't touch anything. I'll stay in one place. Please may I come to the Ready Room, please?"

Mum always feels bad after she buries me alive, and she always feels bad when we talk about my father. She looks unsure and I watch her counting the number of years old I am. She used to tell me that I'm too young, but she hasn't been saying that lately. Mum keeps saying that I'm growing up faster than a weed, and that I look more and more like my father every day. So we go to the Ready Room.

The Ready Room is full of metal tables and it's very cold. The smell of the room hurts my nose. Mum puts me on a chair and tells me not to move, or she won't bring me down here again. I nod and sit.

The Ready Room is very bright, with lots of lights. The floor is covered with large stains. There are four closets. One of the closets has a lot of drawers. The other closets have lots of doors. In the middle of the ceiling is a large hook and some chains. The stains are under the hook are darkest. There are two white bins that Mum opens and I can see fog come out of them. Mum pulls out something and sets it on table. It looks like red jello. Or raspberry jam. I like jam.

Mum goes to the closet with drawers and pulls out some odd instruments. Some of them look like scissors. She goes to another closet with doors and brings some jars. They look like jam jars. I didn't know that Mum made jam. She pulls on some white gloves that make a snapping noise and puts on a mask that covers her nose and mouth. Mum is very focused. She's forgotten that I'm in the room, but I've not forgotten that I'm in the room.

She slices into the jello carefully, making thin pieces. She keeps doing this. I get bored. I want to know what's behind the other doors and what's in the other drawers, but I don't move from my seat. Mum won't bring me back to the Ready Room if I leave and I want to come back to the Ready Room. Mum is muttering something but I don't know what's she's saying, and she's forgotten that I'm in the room.

I don't like it when Mum forgets that I'm in the room. Sometimes she forgets for a long time and she keeps asking for my father and a person named Vernon. When that happens I look at the marbles and try to find my father. She screams and breaks the dishes and says that my father's a traitor. When she remembers that I'm in the room her face becomes very pale and she cleans everything up and doesn't smile. She sleeps for a long time and when she wakes up she smiles at me and makes breakfast.

I had watermelon for breakfast today. I like watermelon.


	7. Chapter 7

"Asphodel, can you tell the story of this one?"

Mr. Potter picks up Harry and sits him down on the table. I don't like Mr. Potter. I don't like the way he looks at me. His hair is messy and he smells like toothpaste.

I shake my head. I don't want to tell him anything. They took away my skulls and use candles to light the rooms. Mildred doesn't keep my bad dreams away because they took her away and took away the red flowers and now bad dreams are bleeding out of the hole in my forehead. Beetles crawl out but Mr. Potter kills them with toothpaste while he laughs and crushes pencils into my eyes. I want my skulls.

"Asphodel, I can't help you if you don't tell me anything. Don't you want to help?"

No. Mr. Potter's name is Harry and I've seen him in my dreams when I wrap myself in my father's coat. They took away my father's coat too and now everyone stares at me. I want to make red mites spill out of their follicles and their tongues turn into leeches. I imagine Mr. Potter's face without skin and blood and try to see the skeleton underneath. They took away Mum's beetle box and now I'll never name all the beetles or have new skulls.

"I want my mum."

Mr. Potter looks awkward.

"Asphodel, your mother's dead."

"Then wake her up."

He smiles and doesn't look at me. They look at me, they don't look at me, they whisper and say my father's name and I want to collapse all their houses like the Collapsing Tunnel. They took away my skulls and buried my mother alive.

"Take me to her coffin and I'll wake her up."

"Asphodel, there was no body to bury. Only bones. Somehow, someone put your mother in the box full of beetles and they, er, ate all the flesh."

"Mum always buries me alive and she wakes me up. I've got to ask her four questions and then she'll wake up."

"Asphodel, you don't understand. Death isn't—death doesn't work that way. You don't simply wake up after a few days—"

"I die all the time and I always wake up. Mum gets me from the coffin and after she answers four questions I come alive again."

"What?"

"And only bones ever come out of the beetle box. Mum always puts the fleshy things inside and the beetles leave the bones."

"So you got all the skulls from the beetle box?"

"Not all the skulls. Harry and Tom didn't come from the beetle box because I was a baby and Mum says that she didn't have the beetle box until our second house. But I got Avery and Mildred and Odette and Albert from the black beetle box and Maleficent and Tantalus and Poppycock and Cornelius from the brown beetle box and Julian and Andrea from the red beetle box. That's twelve skulls in all."

Mr. Potter is shaking his head and giving me a strange look. People have been giving me strange looks every since I came here. They whisper my father's name and I want to roast them like turtles.

"I want my skulls. Why won't you give me my skulls?"

"Do you know who Tom and Harry were, Asphodel?"

I cross my arms at Mr. Potter. He already knows who Tom and Harry were before they were skulls, I heard him say so when he thought I wasn't listening. I don't like it when people play stupid. Playing stupid isn't a fun game. Kat used to play stupid when she didn't want to play traitor.

"Tom and Harry were always skulls and Mum gave them to me when I was a baby."

"But did your mum ever tell you stories about how she got them?"

"Mum says that Harry was a rat-man and that Tom was tall with an ugly smile."

Mr. Potter writes this down with a feather. I've never seen people writing with feathers until I came to this place. Maybe I ought to give Poppycock some feathers so that he'll leave Albert alone. I don't know why Mr. Potter keeps visiting me. All he does is ask questions and when I ask him questions he never knows the secret answers. He smells like toothpaste and has messy hair. I want him to take me to Mum's coffin so that I can wake her up. I know the four secret answers to the four secret questions that Mr. Potter doesn't know. All he wants to know is about the skulls, and he already knows everything he wants to know about the skulls.

Mr. Potter is rubbing his face with his hand and wincing. It looks like something's hurting his ear. Once, I put a hornet in my ear. It didn't hurt me, but Mum got very angry and shook me until my teeth chattered.

"Asphodel, did you ever try to control your mum or make her do things she didn't want to do?"

"No. Why would I make her do something she didn't want to do? Mum gave me skulls. Sometimes Mum was sad or angry for a long time but she always stopped."

"See, Potter! He admitted it!" Bifflingsblock shouted into Harry's earpiece.

Harry winced again. The boy was looking at him strangely, gaze directed at his left ear.

"I put a hornet in my ear once."

"Er, that's not good for your ears, Asphodel."

"Do you have a hornet in your ear, Mr. Potter?"

I may as well, Harry thought.

"Asphodel, I'm going to leave the room for a minute. Stay here."

"Are you going to take the hornet out of your ear, Mr. Potter?"

"Just, stay here. Don't move."

"What the hell are you going on about, Bifflingsblock?"

"The boy's admitted it! He's admitted it! And you said so in your reports that the boy said his mother had turns of unexplained sadness, irrational anger, uncontrollable impulses—all classic signs of someone struggling to throw off the Imperius! This _thing_ was manipulating his mother and _he's_ the real force behind all the executions!"

"Bifflingsblock, he wasn't even _there_ for most of the murders!"

"The Imperius doesn't need him to be there!"

"You honestly believe that Asphodel would place a curse on his mother—a curse that even some full grown wizards can't master—and compelled her to go out and kill Death Eaters? He doesn't even know what Death Eaters are!"

"Potter, this boy is _dangerous_. He's managed to do some severe damage to _three_ of the staff at St. Mungo's—"

"He didn't know they were trying to vaccinate him—he took it as a threat and his accidental magic responded—"

"Accidental magic does _not_ explode a wizard's wand hand!"

"It can if he felt he was in danger."

"It's not normal! It's Dark, that's what it is and mark my words, Potter, we've got a Dark Lord in the makings with this one. I'm not about to see another You-Know-Who rise to power, not on my watch. Kerbungle's going to hear of this and we'll see the end of it, I promise you."

"Bifflingsblock, stop and _think_ about this. Asphodel has _never_ known about the wizarding world, never had contact with it until four weeks ago when we brought him here. He was raised by a—by an unstable woman who thought it was appropriate to let him play with skulls, bury him alive, and _have him watch_ while she flayed people alive. It's not surprising that he's not normal, but that doesn't mean he's the next Voldemort."

"Prevention, Potter! Prevention is key! You've got to weed out the bad ones before they can get stronger."

"Weed out? What, you're suggesting that we send him to Azkaban? For Merlin's sake, the boy's _eight_!"

"An eight year old with Darkish habits. His father—"

"Don't say a _word_ about Snape. If it weren't for him, Voldemort would still be alive and I wouldn't be standing here."

"I don't care what you say about the man—he was still a Death Eater and thick with You-Know-Who right up to the end!"

"That was the point! He was a fucking _spy_!"

"Bad blood, Potter, bad blood runs from father to son, not that you'd know what that means. "

"What?"

"The boy's not fit to live in our society!"

"Listen, all he needs is a bit of training to control his magic and it won't happen again."

"You can try all you want, but a Dark wizard never goes back."

"Asphodel is an eight year old boy, not a Dark wizard."

"What's a Dark wizard?"

They all jumped out of their skin.

"Was my father a Dark wizard?"

"Asphodel, I thought I told you to stay put. How did you—"

"See, Potter! How did that boy get out of the cell in the first place? I tell you, he's a danger and the likes of him need to be put down immediately—"

"For the love of Merlin—"

"I don't care if he's right in front of me. We've got to take a stand against types like him—"

"Don't worry, Mr. Potter. I'm not afraid to die."

Harry took a step back as Asphodel looked up at him, a serene smile on his face.

"I don't mind being killed, because I always come back to life."

Asphodel laughed.

"And I'll remember you. Both of you."


End file.
